edge lord

There it is again! the feeling I get for no reason out of nowhere. that dreadful feeling, that self destructive one. that one where I cant stop seeing myself dying, I cant stop thinking about it, fantasizing about it. too many things hold me back from dying and I hate it. I hate wishing I could, coming up with all these ways but not being able to go through with it due to the people around me.

Sometimes I wish i was an outcast, alone, I just wish I didn't have people who genuinely cared about me. I wish I was sadder. I wish I had the will or the mind. I wish I didn't care. I hate it. I really hate it. It's so dumb, it's so pathetic, it's so incredibly weak. Killing yourself is so lame. It's so unoriginal and if I were too I would only be another teen statistic. My life, everything i was, everything I wanted to do, wanted to become, Would Not Matter. It would all be in vain. It would leave an effect on people but for how long and for who? Who would really care about some random 16 year old and who would really care for that long. I didn't do anything great and I didn't meet very many people. I'm hardly really important. I'm failing just about all my classes, I don't really try, I can't.

If I had the chance, even the smallest one, something I could jump at easily, something I would not feel, I'd do it.

I’d Kill Myself.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

“ You said you think you could really use a break
I said, "That's cool but don't think I'll just wait
Around for you to make up your fucking mind"
You said, "Trust me, that's more than fine"

THREE YEARS, SIX MONTHS AND A COUPLE OF DAYS HAVE CHANGED
I HOPED FOR MORE, BUT I GUESS IT NEVER CAME
Guess we lost our sense of direction
Always swore WE'D BE THE EXCEPTION

Don't call it a comeback
'Cause for that, YOU'D have to come back
What the fuck
GUESS I'LL JUST WASTE MY TIME
BENDING OVER BACKWARDS FOR SOMEONE WHO WAS NEVER MINE (hey)
But I guess that it's alright
What the fuck
Guess I'll just waste my time
Spinning 'round in circles as I slowly lose my mind (hey)
It's just me, myself, and I, yeah, me, myself, and I

You said you think that I was a mistake
I said, "That's fine, yeah, two can play that game"
You said you think that I should lose some weight
That shit cut deep, so all I said was same

I guess you're right, yeah, I'm kinda immature
Self-conscious, stupid, and super insecure
LOOKED TO YOU FOR YOUR VALIDATION
GUESS IT'S TIME FOR SOME SELF ADMIRATION

Don't call it a comeback
That would mean I'D have to come back
What the fuck
GUESS I'LL JUST WASTE MY TIME
BENDING OVER BACKWARDS FOR SOMEONE WHO WAS NEVER MINE (hey)
But I guess that it's alright
What the fuck
Guess I'll just waste my time
Spinning 'round in circles as I slowly lose my mind (hey)
It's just me, myself, and I, yeah, me, myself, and I

I guess we can't call it a comeback
We both know YOU'RE NEVER COMING BACK
What the fuck
GUESS I'LL JUST WASTE MY TIME
BENDING OVER BACKWARDS FOR SOMEONE WHO WAS NEVER MINE(hey)
But I guess that it's alright
What the fuck
Guess I'll just waste my time
Spinning 'round in circles as I slowly lose my mind (hey)
It's just me, myself, and I, yeah, me, myself, and I ”

That fact that this is targeted at two different people for two different reasons!