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dirtbugdiedThere it is again! the feeling I get for no reason out of nowhere. that dreadful feeling, that self destructive one. that one where I cant stop seeing myself dying, I cant stop thinking about it, fantasizing about it. too many things hold me back from dying and I hate it. I hate wishing I could, coming up with all these ways but not being able to go through with it due to the people around me.
Sometimes I wish i was an outcast, alone, I just wish I didn't have people who genuinely cared about me. I wish I was sadder. I wish I had the will or the mind. I wish I didn't care. I hate it. I really hate it. It's so dumb, it's so pathetic, it's so incredibly weak. Killing yourself is so lame. It's so unoriginal and if I were too I would only be another teen statistic. My life, everything i was, everything I wanted to do, wanted to become, Would Not Matter. It would all be in vain. It would leave an effect on people but for how long and for who? Who would really care about some random 16 year old and who would really care for that long. I didn't do anything great and I didn't meet very many people. I'm hardly really important. I'm failing just about all my classes, I don't really try, I can't.
If I had the chance, even the smallest one, something I could jump at easily, something I would not feel, I'd do it.
I’d Kill Myself.
Sometimes I wish i was an outcast, alone, I just wish I didn't have people who genuinely cared about me. I wish I was sadder. I wish I had the will or the mind. I wish I didn't care. I hate it. I really hate it. It's so dumb, it's so pathetic, it's so incredibly weak. Killing yourself is so lame. It's so unoriginal and if I were too I would only be another teen statistic. My life, everything i was, everything I wanted to do, wanted to become, Would Not Matter. It would all be in vain. It would leave an effect on people but for how long and for who? Who would really care about some random 16 year old and who would really care for that long. I didn't do anything great and I didn't meet very many people. I'm hardly really important. I'm failing just about all my classes, I don't really try, I can't.
If I had the chance, even the smallest one, something I could jump at easily, something I would not feel, I'd do it.
I’d Kill Myself.
