Why Do You Lie?

Oh and you expect me not to? You expect me to talk about my feelings, open up to someone?? Yeah and what would that even get me? "Comfort" , "care" ? Bullshit. The only thing i have a chance of getting is rejection, half ass pity, and chances of another person gone.

Lying can get you that too. Not if your good at lying. Im good at lying when it comes down to it, obviously, lie to all these people and they believe me. Whatever, who cares. Its not like they'll fine out anytime soon? Its been years not and i have it all the same. I gave up on opening up and in turn no one questions were asked of me anymore. Bingo, I somehow magically got all better. Obviously

Theres no point in telling me not to lie. Im not them, not him, i dont care. I'll make your empty promise, ill tell you how its alright, I'll keep up that fake fucking game i play i have no reason to stop and you have no reason to question me.

But then your words are fucking meaningless you realize. You cant sit here and beg for that attention, beg for that feeling, beg that just someone out there will care if you give them no fucking reason to care. You put yourself in your own hole and you keep digging down. Its no one's fault but your damn own.

I can do whatever i want. Its not like im actually begging somebody real. Im writing down my thoughts and needs in a space i know no one will look. In a place I already know no one will care. I do that for a reason dimwit. I said it once ill say it again.

Theres no fear of rejection if theres no one to reject it.

Woof!

I. AM. PATHETIC!!

haha I miss you! I miss you so much, you were so nice to me, you bought me things, I could tell you anything and everything and you listened! I never felt judged when I talked to you, sure I felt a little uncomfortable sometimes but I got over it! I'm sorry I blocked you that one time, I got kinda scared, I don't know of what. I was glad when I had you back tho! I'm sorry that we didn't talk as much as we used to though, that we didn't call as often. then you disappeared and I wanted you to come back so bad, I waited, I texted, and I hoped. your account ended up going and of course I haven't heard from you since. I miss your attention, your praise, I miss being your little puppy.

now I'm just no ones, I'm a stray! its not fun. I hate being a stray. I hate being alone. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. everything is so empty. I'm alone. I'm alone. I'm empty. a stupid dog. a stupid dog. cant you come back? cant you come back? I miss your luve. I miss you. I miss it.

I'm a stray, a mutt, a sick dog. no ones taking care of me. you would though. I know you would.

cant you take away the emptiness I feel now? cant you make me worse? I miss cutting myself for you. I miss you. I miss talking to you. I miss everything about you.

I miss being important.
I miss being Important.
Can you hear me?

Woof!