Hmm, Well..

[dirtbugdied]

Im sick of being in my house, my "home." Its not, not anymore. I wanna go home home. whatever that's home with my sister or when things were normal with my mom. I miss my mom. sure she lives with me, in my house, she still acts like my mom but she feels more like a distant sister.

my house is hell more often than not. I spend all of my time in my room, I actively avoid sitting or being anywhere else, if I am on the off chance not in my bed I'm quick to go there whenever she comes out. she makes my life hell.

if I have any reason I want to kill myself, it's her. if I have any reason I want to hurt myself, it's her. she drives me crazy. she acts like a 16 year old. IM 16. SHE'S SOMEWHERE IN HER 60's. I HAVE TO GENTLE PARENT HER. I HAVE TO REMIND HER OF HER MANNERS.

tell me why I fully had to act like a kindergarten teacher with her yesterday. "I'm sorry I was talking. can you not cut me off please? can I finish talking please? I'm sorry I am talking right now. can I please finish?" like she some fucking 5 year old.
I'm sitting there acting more like an adult than she is.

I hate being in my house. I wanna go home.