What a loser!

Ugh, it disgusted me! Right, it's so stupid?
What a loser. So thin-skinned. A cry baby!

I feel too much sometimes. I feel so many emotions too much. It hurts me.
Im not a negative person, I would say I'm pretty optimistic when it comes down to it. But there's always that thing, that thing that just drained it for me I guess.

I see it and i just stare. I think about it to myself and then I go on to feel bad for thinking about it. It's a selfish thought, a self-centered one. Not everything's about me, most things aren't even closely related. But there it is and here I am. I hate it. It eats me. But im smart enough to keep my mouth shut. I know that saying the wrong thing can ruin things, that thinking too hard about things that aren't even there can kill me.

Im okay with my death, for that of course i would be. Im not okay with ruining anything important to me. So I'll put aside my happiness, it the right thing to do as i hear most people say, and I'll just sit with enough calmness to not let anything think otherwise.

Its sick, its sick.

I could make an Internet disease with this feeling i think, something like hanahaki.