dirtbugdied: (My guilt)
[personal profile] dirtbugdied
I know it means nothing for me to say I'm sorry and I know I have no reason to say sorry but I am so sorry for everything. I'm sorry for you. I'm sorry you have to put up with me and how I act. I'm sorry that you worry about me and that I make you worry. I'm a bitch, an ass, I have nothing to give you. please, I'm so sorry.

I want to apologize, really apologize, to send you this messages and weep. I want to tell you I'm sorry 100 times over. I want you to know all the guilt I feel for being someone in your life and I don't want your pity nor sympathy for it.

I don't want your pity or sympathy for anything. I don't want you to care. I hate that you care about me. I hate that you will worry. can't you just hate me? cant you just see how bad I am? I'm horrible. everything I do, everything I am, and I believe in is bad. I'm bad. why do you care? why do you care? why worry?

please, please, get rid of me. I need you to get rid of me. I love you. like a sick dog I love you and I depend on you. like a sick dog I need to be put down. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for everything that I am. I'm so sorry you see me as someone. I'm so sorry I came into your life. I'm so sorry I cant leave. please leave. leave me. leave me. I'm begging you. don't care. please.

please forgive me.
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