dirtbugdied | Cover you ears but hear me still

I don't want anyone to care about me. I don't want anyone to worry about what I could do to myself or if I'm eating or if I'm doing something I know I shouldn't. I don't want anyone to care but I crave it so much. I crave the feeling of being cared for, of someone worrying that I could fucking cut myself. I need that feeling, I don't get that feeling, I guess it's good cus I don't want it.

I feel alone. I feel empty, I feel I have nothing. everyone I care about so much doesn't care about me in the same way. of course I'll give them everything. I'll make sure I hear them, I'll love them, I'll care for them in every way they want me to, but when it's my turn I only get their back.

I want to be important to people. I want to be important to You.
I want You to care about me.

I don't want anyone to care. I want someone who will make me worse.
tell me to cut myself. please. tell me to cut myself and then call me a good boy.